The colorful mutual fund cheeses, assorted and blended into an endless smorgasbord of sweet speculation opportunities are rich with pungent-smelling and mold-bearing varieties of ETFs, derivative-based and linked swapped options and a tasty smattering of low yielding and broken buck roulette wheel-like hedges that are (currently) in The Wall Street sewer, rotting into a nasty pile of sludge unfit for even a poor starving mouse with cholera.

As with the possibility of “bad cheese”, everyone in the cheese business will tell you (over and over) cheese gets better as it ages. Like wine, women and prostitution and out-dated worthless stocks and bonds, these foul, stale and tainted equities simply need to be rotated from back to front, then prodded with just a little TLC and a Spoonful of Sugar, then, re-packaged into exciting and tempting freshened possibilities that neither hint or whisper, but swear affinity; re-engineered, substituted, reconstituted, renamed and reshaped, so as to fit under different shells or to sit upon the glossy pages of a magazine — or perhaps to be found on a cutting-edge blog that has a link to a life-changing story, where you become swept into a simulated experience that triggers neurotransmitter expanding memories that take you back to a time when you thought you were among the passengers drifting around picking stocks from origami penguins selling credit enhancment credit default swaps, while Newspaper taxis appear on the shore, Waiting to take you away…. — away from reality, the individual imagines oneself connected to a loving and warm hodge-podge clustered fantasy which is highly stimulating and arousing to a point where your mouth puckers, swells and then finally collapses like a black hole and drools, as you ponder yourself winning The Wall Street Lotto!!

Although excessive involuntary drooling is due to the inability of neuromuscular wiring to control, coordinate and initiate weak muscles of the face and mouth (including the swallowing mechanism) one should be aware that oral motor therapy can be easily worked on at home. In addition to OMT, one can easily learn to simply not pick up glossy magazines and engage in financial fantasies, but first things first…

How does Oral Motor Therapy Work (OMT)? OMT is a preventative measure which can safegaurd you, your clothing and your environment by helping control embarrassing social moments at places like a waiting room at a dentist office, or perhaps a random job interview (that you really didn’t want to go to in the first place, because it takes you out of your zone, and W-The-F needs that in this day and age?). Ipso Facto, as your reptilian-like eyes dart back and forth across the little fragmented digital bits of black, rapidly scanning, bouncing off the margins as your head vibrates from the tactile interface between what your fingers hold and what you think you absorb in that goop between your ears, as you think you read your financial journal, with its random bits of data, jig-jagged about with correlated mirror-like numbers juxtaposed into stylized information packets designed to create sensory processing overload which primarily and quintessentially results in piss poor cognition in your emptied skullcap.

The confusion which you experience may feel like Déjà Vu or more likely the fight or flight syndrome, which is a fundamental physiologic response to bullshit, however, thanks to our ego, we pretend that we understand the information and then gloss over the verbs and nouns into a zombie-like hypnotic state as we zero in on a simple colorful financial chart that indicates that we have nothing to fear and that past performance can be plotted in such a way, that we can be a part of the dream we already believe in, even if we have no clue what it is we think we understand. That is the confusion component which for most people results in Excessive Involuntary Drooling (EID).

Some people simply don’t care or think EID wont happen to them or their family members, but the following video may be a useful aid:

Sammy Speakwell’s Oral Motor Exercises

The MSM has got to be the dumbest in history to let G.W. lead us into a bloody war and a economic collapse of a lifetime. And like any idiot, the media is now blaming G.W. for all our misery.

Congrats, G.W. Bush!

A look at the vintage Fallows piece looks quite prescient (the Atlantic) http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200507/fallows/