By Lambert Strether of Corrente.
I have happy childhood memories of Christmas, but today’s watered-down Saturnalia leaves me unenthused; I think I turned off when (loathesome, secular, treacly) Christmas carols started playing in the stores right after Halloween. So I guess I’m a bit of a Grinch. Not that there’s anything wrong with that:
-stalks children, watches them at all times
-needs 9 reindeer to haul his fat ass
-works only with his trusty dog
-ostracized from society, but forgives them from their sins anyway
-dismantled a corrupt capitalist institution
— memes🎄 (@memeproviderz) December 25, 2017
Be that as it may, today’s post is a collection of stocking stuffers, mostly gathered from the Twitter (the stockings being the usual categories).
I’m also leaving comments on, just because it seems a shame to turn them off entirely, but I must ask or rather tell you: Behave excellently to each other. Our comment moderation crew is lighter than usual, and nobody wants to return from the joys of the holiday to some sort of blazing inferno. Thank you!
The “War on Christmas”
A giant database tracked American English usage for decades and you’ll be totally like whatever about what it shows pic.twitter.com/O4QAA0VJjN
— Philip N Cohen (@familyunequal) December 25, 2017
We said “Merry Christmas” to each other at church tonight and against dinner. You know, the word “hero” gets thrown around a lot, but sometimes it just fits.
— FaintGlimmerofHopehat (@Popehat) December 25, 2017
Without spellcheck, we made stupid mistakes. With spellcheck, we make mistakes that are stupid only after a second look.
“A History of the War on Christmas” [Snopes].
Realignment and Legitimacy
“After Going from Church to Church Seeking Help, A Mexican Family Finds Sanctuary in Philadelphia” [The Intercept]. Room at the inn….
Word of the day: “Jólabókaflóð” – lit. “Yule book-flood”; Icelandic tradition whereby people give books to each other in the months running up to Christmas — & especially on Christmas Eve, when books received as gifts are read late into the night. pic.twitter.com/LfB8y1sj9O
— Robert Macfarlane (@RobGMacfarlane) December 24, 2017
Imperial Collapse Watch
“The incredible true story of when WWI stopped for enemy armies to celebrate Christmas together” [Business Insider]. “Huddled in their trenches on Christmas Eve, soldiers on both sides across the entire Western frontline celebrated the holiday as best as they could. Soon, all along the frontline combatants began to leave their trenches without their weapons, and meet enemy soldiers in no man’s land…. What followed was an amazing episode for humanity; enemies who were just hours ago slaughtering each other at a level unseen in human history, were talking, singing, dancing, and eating together as if they were friends.” The better angels of our nature…
Dear Old Blighty
I never truly feel the Christmas spirit until I see the "Tony Blair being held back from attacking you in the pub" card pic.twitter.com/gyke6ssb0K
— Dean Van Nguyen (@deanvannguyen) December 18, 2017
This Christmas, whenever you can, show people love and show them you care. pic.twitter.com/8sLSx5PlfH
— Jeremy Corbyn (@jeremycorbyn) December 24, 2017
Black Injustice Tipping Point
You can follow the Erica Garner account for updates on her condition:
The Garner/Snipes family wants to thank you all for your prayers and support. At this moment there are no updates on Ericas condition. They ask that you take this holiday to enjoy your loved ones and for self care. More updates will come as they are available.
— officialERICA GARNER (@es_snipes) December 25, 2017
Last word is that she had a heart attack, and is in a coma. I’m a believer in Matthew 6:5-6, so I’m not a “Pray for ____” enthusiast on social media. But if you are a believer, do consider sending your private thoughts and prayers Erica’s way.
“Christmas and Resistance to Slavery in the Americas” [Black Perspectives]. “Yet, [Frederick] Douglass rightfully criticized the double-edged purpose of this seeming autonomy, arguing that the holidays were ‘among the most effective means in the hands of the slaveholder in keeping down the spirit of insurrection…These holidays serve as conductors, or safety-valves, to carry off the rebellious spirit of enslaved humanity…The holidays are part and parcel of the gross fraud, wrong, and inhumanity of slavery.””
“Capitalism is losing support. It is time for a new deal” [Zac Tate, World Economic Forum].
News of the Wired
Pantry Clearout of Silly Jokes (1):
When hymns take their own advice: pic.twitter.com/8AaRqx8XRg
— Lutheran Satire (@LutheranSatire) December 21, 2017
Pantry Clearout of Silly Jokes (2):
Woke up to two feet of snow. pic.twitter.com/FCaIt9z3dI
— You Had One Job (@YouHadOneJ0B) December 22, 2017
Pantry Clearout of Silly Jokes (3), for the techies:
He's making a database
He's sorting it twice
SELECT * from contacts WHERE behavior = 'nice'
SQL Clause is coming to town
— Circuit Static (@circuitstatic) December 24, 2017
RIP James Brown, May 3, 1933 – December 25, 2006:
I’m declaring Portland, Maine’s lobster trap tree an honorary plant. (Rockland has one, too.)
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