"You Know You’re Subprime When…"

More gallows humor from the Housing Bubble Blog. You know you are subprime when....(note at least nine of the items on this list happened):

The Borrower doesnt know there loan amount, interest rate or mortgage payments.

You spend your closing cost money on a motorcycle 2 days before closing.

You are adding your boarder’s kid’s SSI to the ‘household’ income.

You are cashing out your equity to go on vacation. Again.

Your FICO score and total assets are the same number.

The borrowers’ ‘household income’ incorporates more than 3 individual incomes.

The interest rate on the refi is higher than the rate on the existing loan.

Your borrower goes to grab a McD’s meal for the signing, and can’t get it with the first credit card they tries again.

You knew you were upside down on the first house you bought, so you bought a couple more, just to be sure.

Your borrower wants to quit claim his 98 year-old mother-in-law to the property so she can be a co-signer.

Your borrower walks in to your office in his Waffle House uniform and wants a stated income loan.

Your borrower asks you if he can (personally) borrow the appraisal money.

You pull the borrower’s credit and instead of giving you a report it returns the message ‘Please retain applicant – Law enforcement dispatched.”

When you ask your borrower for his last 2 tax returns he gives you 2001 and 2004 because he ain’t filed the rest yet.

When your borrower calls and asks you to bail him from his foreclosure, but when you pull public records, the house was titled to the bank 6 weeks ago.

You know you are a subprime borrower when: You boast of all the miles you’ll get on your creditcard by paying your mortgage with plastic.

You know you’re a subprime borrower when you think assets are something to be viewed on web porn sites.

You know you are a subprime borrower when: The loan officer asks you about your liquid assests on the application and he says, “I have 2 6-pack’s of Budweiser in my fridge!’”

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